Welcome to the Cocktail Chronicles, a new weekly series where we here folks at Spicymayo will deliver for you all the goods, the bads and the boozy as it pertains to anything cocktail related.
First up a little information that you might not know.
SPICY MAYO
Stuff about food and food-related stuff
old fashioned way for an old fashioned drink
My Journey: 16 and oh so young.
For the past year or so I’ve been writing on this here website about all my love, hate and everything in between for the restaurant bus. It goes without saying that my using the words .”love and hate” very much aptly apply, for there is much love and hate flowing within me as my 13th year in the bus. quickly approaches. But today is not going to be one of those days where I rant or rave on about this and that. Today I want to recount for you (and myself) the lasting moments, memories that have shaped my restaurant journey, a journey full of…well you’ll see.
Wine. What You May Not Know
Being the obsessive wine enthusiast that I am, I thought I would share for you all some info I’ve picked up recently from my first ever wine course. Currently I’m taking my Level 1 of the WSET or Wine Spirit Education Trust here in Vancouver. With the WSET being the most respected course in the world, I’ve tried my best to sit back and learn from the best.
The Greatness of Port
I’ve decided to go against the status quo today, I realize that this here blog centres predominantly on food, but I feel as an avid wine drinker that it is my duty to put forth my feelings and thoughts on the great fermented grape. Anyone who knows me should know that I’ve had pretty much all there is to drink when it comes to wine; from red, to white, to sparkling, to ice, to sherry and my new current obsession port. Having a fondness for sweeter style wines, I’ve always come to love port and its rich velvety texture, but like most I never came to exploring it much further than the odd glass here and there. However, as of late I’ve come to, or should I say, I’ve become quite addicted to it.
What’s the deal with breakfast?
Over and over again I’ve racked my head around this simple question. The word itself has quite the simple meaning “to break the fast” usually from a nights sleep. Yet as easy an explanation that is, I still find myself vexed at why everyone I know loves it, especially when dining out for brunch. Constantly I find myself running into people who can’t stop raving at “how that brunch was today” or “I wish there was someplace serving breakfast at 6pm”. Seriously what’s with eating eggs, bacon and toast that has people jumping out of bed. Am I missing something or am I just the only one who thinks eating breakfast and going for brunch, dim sum or whatever else is totally overrated? Having worked in various styles of restaurants over the years, I’ve come to witness people abounding with joy at the greasy slop of food before them as they guzzle down cup after cup of coffee, which to me I find disgusting, 6 cups of coffee buddy, really you need that much?. Ah I feel my inner Jerry Seinfeld coming out at this very moment. My list of questions is as follows.
Live music, great food and vomit, all staples of Amigos Cantina
If you’ve grown up in Saskatoon or been here even just a little then you’ve most likely experienced Amigos Cantina just off Broadway, and if for some reason you haven’t…well, shame on you! Luckily for me I have the pleasure of escaping on over to Amigos quite often, for you see I live across the street, something I surely lucked out on.
Earls, the land of good food, an asshole boss and much much more
So fuck! Being that I’m in a good mood today, I thought it would be a good time to write an honest review of one of Saskatoon’s many dining establishments. As my inaugural review I’ve chosen to start with the city’s most popular, Earls. I’ll try to keep this short and sweet.
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Can you taste this for me?
WARNING! Jam Rock goes off hard on this one! I felt bad and attempted to disguise the name of the restaurant. Sorry JRock
How many times have I asked myself that question while dining in one of Saskatoon’s many restaurants. Thirty, forty, maybe fifty times. And knowing full well that this trend will continue, I want to talk about how this has affected me, how dining in this city whether it be for lunch, dinner or even just for dessert and wine can be such a depressing ordeal, one that I can’t stand for much longer. Therefore, before I continue, I would like to paint a familiar picture for you, one I’m sure we all have experienced countless times before.
Hey sweetie you hungry? You want to go for lunch?
Sure. Where to?
Oh I don’t know, you pick?
No, I don’t care, you pick?
Okay, okay I’ll do it. How about that new place “Nirvana”, wanna go there?
Sure, that sounds good.
Then you’re off, you both trek down to “Nirvana”.
You arrive and find that it looks nice, and I say that with caution. I mean it’s clean, very open and very boring. If you’re 80 you might enjoy it, but for me having my chef stare at me while I eat my food kind of got to me… Seemed a little creepy I might say. Any who, back to the food.
So we order, can’t remember exactly what it was because it was that forgetable, however, I do remember getting some sort of pasta and chicken sandwich. Now here we are, my girl and I eating our lunch and I’m thinking “What the fuck!!!!, this is terrible, extremely bland, tasteless and something I could make ten times better”.
I was so irritated. I wanted to walk up to the chef while holding my plate of food and ask him, “Hey retard, eat this! This is awful, why would you serve me this? Do you not have any pride? Seriously you can’t be happy with this, I mean come on, when you were making the menu did you step back and go “hey this is great” or did you not give a fuck?”
I was so mad. I mean this is a BRAND NEW restaurant that the Planet S gave glowing reviews too, how could they be so clueless? By the end of it I walked out $40.00 poorer and much more disappointed and this wasn’t even the first time something like this has happened to me, my girl or someone I know. Take for instance friends of mine who dined at The Barking Fish last night, a place they hadn’t been to in months. Excited and hoping for something great, they quickly realized when their dinners arrived why they had stopped their patronage. The food was awful and sub par, end point.
Am I asking for a lot? Is it that hard to take pride in what you do? Fuck I don’t know, as it stands I trust only a few places in this city.Sushiro, Amigos, Earls and Calories and that’s about it. Everything else to me is either crap or dog shit. The food at “Nirvana” seemed more catered to the taste of babies rather than adults. And to take this even further, my girl and I visited yet another Planet S recommendation a few day later called Octane. In short the food was atrocious, humongous food portions, food that had looked as if it came from a can or had been through a microwave, . This place Octane had such a huge menu it scared me. I mean how can a place stand to say they can make a great club sandwich, a ginger beef stir fry and have fresh LOBSTER? There was no direction in this place, no format, just a massive menu with items on it and the list goes on and on. I could destroy so many places it scares me, and I’m no food critic with a massive ego. I’m just a man who expects quality and I see no problem in declaring that, and neither should any of you.
Okay so maybe I’m ranting a little, but seriously should I settle for less just because it is being given to me? Saskatoon, we deserve better. We deserve a dining scene that can rival the big citys. We need to stand up and say “Hey we need to be better”. We need establishments that take pride in what they do, that care, places that want to be better and strive for it. We have enough dry ribs, nachos and caesar salads restaurants to kill a fat kid, we need better, more creative and quality. And if they don’t want to do it, fuck em’ is what I say.
Any who, sorry for the language, I get emotional just thinking of this stuff, take this article for what you want, but I’m sure you all can agree with me that I’m not alone in thinking this, we need to stand up and say something.
Later.
I’m so irritated…
So I’m a waste of space server for a sushi restaurant (okay maybe not a waste of space, but it seems that way to most people who come in lately). Anyways, I love where I work, my boss’ rock and it’s the best job I’ve ever had. So what’s got me lately is how RUDE and annoying people can be. Where I work the food is world class, and I’m not kidding, it is, I’ve worked at high end places all over Canada, and well to be honest, this little Sushi joint I work at can rival any major Sushi restaurant in Vancouver and abroad; and yes I do realize that I live in Saskatoon. So how can that be possible? Easy, it’s called having well trained sushi chefs who care and work hard to make the best. Anyways, what’s gotten me so irritated lately is how customers can come into Sushiro and demand HIGH QUALITY food in minutes, and if it doesn’t come out in record time, we’re considered a slow and bad restaurant.
For example, I had a number of tables a couple days back complain that “we’re in a hurry, how long with it be” when in actuality, EVERY single table that complained had only been waiting 10 – 20 minutes. How is this acceptable!!!
If you head to any great restaurant that has high quality food, do you expect to be in and out in 20 minutes? Does this happen at Carvers? John’s? Calories? NO, I highly doubt it. So then why does this happen to Sushiro? Our food is just as high quality, if not better, just different.
This is very frustrating. I hate sushi restaurants that pre-make their sushi, it creates a stigma that sushi is fast food, which it can be if it is done that way. But here’s the thing, PRE-MADE SUSHI SUCKS!!! Try it if you don’t believe me, it’s garbage and not worth paying for. So then, if you’re a sushi fan, why can’t you take pleasure in the fact that Sushiro sushi is made to order, fresh and with care. Patience people, it’s not slow, it just takes a little longer than pre-made garbage.
Oh and to top it off, these two assholes came in two days ago, and boy could they not shut the fuck up. First, they walked in and grabbed whatever table they wanted, blatantly ignoring the “Please wait to be seated” sign that was openly displayed for them to see. This isn’t your home guys, treat us with respect and so will we. Second, they interrupted me while I taking an order from another table, then once I’d taken their order, they proceeded to demand their food and soups immediately. Every 2 seconds”where’s my soup?”, “is my soup coming soon?” and so forth. Take me on this, I WANTED TO KILL THEM, THEY NEEDED A GOOD PUNCH IN THE TEETH, I’ve never had rude customers like that, ever. Anyways, as my boss wasfrantically trying to meet their speedy demands, which by the time I took the order to the time they received it, took a total of 18 minutes, soups before this mind you, I was excited to getting them the fuck out. But that wasn’t all they had to offer me in the realm of irritation. As they were paying their bill, one of them had the audacity to proclaim to me that they would come here more often if the sushi didn’t take so long…I ALMOST LOST IT, BLOOD BOILING, FIST CLENCHED AND TEETH GRINDING ANGER. They said they go to the Samurai more often because it comes out quicker. I told them the Samurai is shit, which it is, their Japanese food is good, but their sushi blows, so if you want to get quick shit sushi, heading to the Samurai is fine by me. Then I said bye with a nice evil stare.
Okay so I pussied out, I should have punched them, whatever though, blogging about it was way more fun.
later